White rice

Tonight, for dinner, I am eating white rice. And that's it. Just rice. And I don't mind. I'm actually looking forward to it. These are the kinds of things single people can eat. I don't think I would tolerate it if someone was cooking dinner for me and we were having white rice. I would be like, rice? with what? But since no one is asking me that, I don't have to worry about them. I can enjoy my white rice by itself in peace. My parents tell me that rice is the only food I would eat when I was a baby. So tonight I am returning to the tyrrany of infancy. It's all about me tonight folks. Me and rice. Mmmm.

Falling

Well, another day spent in the hospital. A shorter and cooler one. The older I get, the more it stresses me out that seasons are a metaphor for life and death. Do I really have to be reminded of this and check off another box in the allotted time for life chart ever three months? Maybe not. Maybe I should just not think about it like most people. Probably.

So today in the hospital, I took care of two men--hospital neighbors--who were both mentally retarded and had both come from their usual group residence because their brains had started bleeding. Wierd, huh? I thought so. I felt sorry for them. They were both old and had probably had hard lives already, so I wonder if this was almost a merciful end for them? Death. Hard.

Darn it we're back on fall again.

Life-gum

Happy fun things: seeing two of my best friends ever dance with the loves of their lives to beautiful bluegrass music; watching Lucie falling over and running around in circles for joy because Mom came to visit; flower arrangement of tiger lilies, red roses and cool pink berries left for me by my boyfriend; cheering for same boyfriend while he outswam, outbiked and outran everybody else at the beach.

It's been a good few days. And the memories are delicious and long lasting. Like really good life-gum.

Birthday Gift

My how the thoughts are flowing this night shift. I had to go eat because I was starting to get sad again about my brother leaving us so soon. It is a happy thing. It's just hard to remember it's a happy thing sometimes. But it all got started when I was trying to think of the perfect birthday present for him and realized it had to be meaningful since he is leaving. But it all wound up happy when my lovely design blog friends helped me find a fun and non-meaningful gift. I can't say what it is 'til tomorrow.

So then I got going on fun little materialistic things from the design blogs. There are many pretty things out there and somehow on night shift it seems like little pretty things make life complete or at least exciting. I think it's just the hint they give towards towards capital "b" Beauty though.

I have not yet started to plan an apartment renovation, my wedding, or my life mission yet, but perhaps those will be next. I'll keep you posted.

Ahhh, night shift.

Night Shift

Well, as expected, I let my blog rot. Maybe night shift will revive it. For those of you who never stay awake for the both sides of the light around "all night long," I could share some thoughts about how it is. It is (knock on wood) boring up here tonight. They turn the lights mostly off which helps people sleep. Only nobody here is technically allowed to sleep. Either you are a patient who has their vital signs and neuro status checked every 2 hours or you are a nurse who has to do the checking. So the dim lights just remind us all what we wish we could be doing.

But there are cool things about being up all night. Like . . . well it makes you seem a little tough. Or maybe at least tougher than you were before you had never stayed up all night before. Like me before I became a nurse. Night shift itself is also nice and serene, and for the most part, people are less likely to disturb your blogging and make you go do anything yucky. There is also frequently a ready supply of junk food and magazines--things best enjoyed in the middle of the night. And there is this crazy phenomenon that affects me in the middle of the night in the hospital where I get very ambitious and hungry for daytime and write out fabulous lists of things I need to do to get my life in order. I do sometimes follow through on these lists too. Like when I made beaded brooches for some family members for Christmas. That was born on night shift. I think Lucie likes night shift better too. She does wonder what the problem is when I sleep the day away afterwards though.

Anyway. It's night shift. The blog has taken another breath.